


Uphill Battle

by ObsidianRomance



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M, Mpreg, graphic birth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-24
Updated: 2013-02-24
Packaged: 2017-12-03 12:12:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/698118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsidianRomance/pseuds/ObsidianRomance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Etoile_etiolee's prompt for the mpregwinchester comment meme. It is Jensen having a long, difficult labor and Jared being there to support him the whole way.  There is no plot.  It is just a labor and delivery scene.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Uphill Battle

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: mpreg!Jensen, graphic birth, cursing, schmoop, blink and you miss it male lactation

Somehow none of this was what Jensen envisioned when he found out Jared and he were having a baby.

He had expected things to run smoothly, like they did for his mother and Jared’s mother and almost _everyone_ on _every_ television show _ever_.

The pregnancy started off going according to plan, but somewhere it took a wrong turn and landed Jensen in the middle of Miserable Boulevard and Aching Court.

And Jared?  Jared had been awesome

Jared made sure that when things got a little too tough, a little _too_ real, he was there to bring Jensen back to his senses

In truth, Jensen had been absolutely thrilled about having a baby.  But, when it came to _actually_ being the one to have said baby?  It turned out Jensen wasn’t so thrilled

Still, they get a baby in the end.  A baby that was healthy, and growing, and growing, and _growing._ Their kid was huge.  He’s measuring in at over 9 pounds and still growing.  It’s weird because Jensen was happy about the fact but very, very, _very_ nervous about it as well.  It meant he was going to have to deliver a toddler.  It meant _he_ was getting huge.

Jensen was starting to think that Jared must be blind because Jared swore he had no idea what Jensen was talking about when the man got self-conscious about his baby belly.  He also bent over backwards to make sure Jensen was happy and appreciated and their kitchen was well stocked with peanut butter.

So things hadn’t been too terrible, but being pregnant wasn’t all sunshine and roses as some people made it out to be.  There was no “glowing” going on despite Jared’s insistence that there was.

In short, Jensen was miserable. But he assumed being one week over due with a kid who refused to vacate the premises would do that to a person.

He thought their son would come on his own, well before his due date, on the account that he was so big.  But, no.  It was just another wrong assumption he had made about his pregnancy.  His baby was happy and his body didn’t seem to plan on going into labor on its own, his doctors solidifying that fact at their observation that he was barely dilated

It’s why he was scheduled to be induced in an hour.

It’s why he was trying to look like he was holding it together when he and Jared checked themselves into the hospital.

He wants this baby out…like, yesterday.  But he’s panicking a little at the thought of getting him out.

Jared picked up on it, noticing the slight tremors going down Jensen’s spine and the way the man clenched his jaw.  He’s right beside Jensen in a heartbeat, hand at the small of his back and kneading into the tension there.  “It’s going to be worth it Jen.”  He talked low, his tone making it impossible for Jensen to miss just how much Jensen’s trials and tribulations meant to him.

He stopped shivering, finished the paperwork he swore he already did as a preemptive measure, and let Jared take over all their share of speaking.  He didn’t trust that the shiver in his body wonuld stay out of his voice and he didn’t want to come off as a cliché of a person in labor.

He’s afraid to look weak, he’s afraid to let down his normal persona of not being fazed by anything.

But seriously though, pregnancy was a whole new ballgame for him and he didn’t know the rules now that they had been thrown into overtime.

It was okay for a while, but things changed quickly.

Jensen got hooked up to a million and three machines and some nurse, who he was sure is a very sweet lady but thinks was a terrible medical professional, botched his I.V. line four times before someone else finally got to it and did it in one shot.  He can’t even appreciate this fact because he was already sore and hurting from the four failed attempts.

His doctor started him on a round of Pitocin at 5:00, and it felt like they more than jump started his labor.  They practically electrocuted it.

He was not dilated at all but the medicine kicked in and he cramped up.

The first time he felt an actual contraction was confusing.

“Huh,” Jensen snorted as he put both palms on his lower back.

“What?”  Jared licked his lips and pushed his hair from his eyes.

“Contraction.  A real one.  And it’s just…it’s kind of weird.”  Jensen straightened his back and rolled his hips, trying to make head or tails out of the cramping and constricting of his muscles.

“Huh.” Jared didn’t know what else to say to that.  So instead he went back to tracing the muscles in Jensen’s thigh with his pointer finger.

They went on like that for a while.  The contractions hit Jensen harder and harder, but he seemed to have hit a roadblock.  Two hours later, a labor and delivery nurse propped up Jensen’s legs in very unfriendly, very exposing stirrups and announced that he was no more dilated than when he arrived.

Jensen wanted to smack her when she noted that she’d never seen such slow dilation with the use of Pitocin before.

She suggested he walk around for a while; try to speed up the whole process.  They’ve got his labor and contractions going pretty rhythmically, now they need the dilation phase up to speed.

“Can you try talking to your kid?  He’s not listening to me already.”  Jensen huffed, crossed his arms over his chest, and glared at his middle.

“Do you ever think that maybe he loves you so much that he doesn’t want to leave the nice cozy space you’ve created for him?”  Jared laughed but stopped when Jensen stayed silent.

“No.”  Jensen hissed as a contraction made him tense up and wrinkle his nose.

“Was that one bad?”

“Worse than the others.”  Rubbing a hand over his sizeable swell, Jensen sighed.  “Not so bad that I can’t tolerate it.”

Sucking in his bottom lip, Jared pouted apologetically.  He gently laid both palms on Jensen’s middle and dipped his head so that when he talked, his voice was directed towards the swell.  “Hey, Luke?  Can you come out please, baby?  It’s not as scary out here as you think.”

Jensen’s lips curved up and he let Jared talk to his belly.  Usually, he didn’t love this type of sappy attention but it felt good to focus on something other than discomfort.

Jared dropped a kiss to Jensen’s middle, covered only by a thin hospital gown.  “Come on little one, don’t you want to help us out?  We want to meet you.”  Jared felt the muscles contract under his hands and waited for the tension to pass before he braved a question.  “Want to try walking?”

The medical staff had already detached all monitors what would hinder Jensen walking around the floor.  The only thing left in him was his I.V. supplying him with Pitocin which he could wheel along with them as they walked.  “Err, yeah, I guess.”  Jensen sifted and used Jared’s frame for support.  As soon as he got to his feet, he floundered for solid footing and clutched onto Jared tighter.

“Woah, Jen.  I’ve got you.”  Jared hooked an arm around Jensen’s waist and gave him a moment to get his legs under him.

“This is stupid.”  They hadn’t even left the room yet and Jensen dug in his heels.  “I look stupid.”

Cocking his head to the side in confusion, Jared  pulled back.  “What?”

“I look stupid.  I’m all…” Jensen made a vague gesture to his disrobed, hospital gowned self, “and all…” he emphasized his gravid middle, “and I look like crap.”

“Jen, seriously?  You are having a baby, and you look great.”  Jared fingered the end of Jensen’s hospital gown.  “This greenish color is really becoming on you.”

Curling his lip, Jensen thumped Jared on the back of the head.  He immediately regretted it because as soon as he did, another contraction started to creep up his body and made his legs go weak.  “Ohh!”

With quick reflexes, Jared strengthened his support.  “Easy baby.  It’s okay.  Just breathe.  That’s it.  Nice and slow.”

Jensen’s exhalations were noisy as he slowly let out each calculated deep lungful of air.  “Fuck, that hurts.”

Jared rolled his wrist to get a clearer look at his watch.  “They’re holding steady at about 11 minutes apart.”

“Fan-fucking-tastic.”  Jensen huffed out one last breath before trusting himself to take a step forward.  “Wanna try this walking thing?”

“Yeah.”  Jared smiled and helped support Jensen’s weight though the laboring man was doing pretty good on his own at the moment.  “Jen?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re awesome.”

“Shut up.”  But Jensen blushed, smirking secretively.

They walked for a while, Jensen freezing up and clutching onto Jared whenever a contraction took hold of him.  Jared tried his best to keep Jensen from being too anxious and fidgety with tales of his socially inept coworkers.  Aside from a stunted snort of laughter, Jensen stayed mute, happy to have Jared fill the silence at the current moment.  The contractions weren’t getting any stronger but after 6 more, they were starting to put Jensen on edge.

Eventually, the walking thing got old and they returned to their hospital room where a nurse promptly stuck Jensen back in the unfriendly, over exposing stirrups and checked him out.

“One and a half.”

“Seriously?”  Jensen snorted, pushing up from the bed while awkwardly trying to glare at the nurse still between his legs.

“Your body doesn’t feel like cooperating.”  The nurse peeled off her gloves.  “I am going to see if we can do something about that.”

It was 9 o’clock.  Four hours in and he had barely made any progress.  They upped his dosage of Pitocin and his doctor came in to apply Cytotec gel to his cervix in hopes of softening it enough to speed the labor along.

Unfortunately, for a time being, walking was out of the question while the Cytotec _hopefully_ took effect.

Jensen was beginning to feel a bit like a lab rat.  He was back on the machines, his contractions being monitored along with his son’s vitals.  The baby was still absolutely fine, but Jensen couldn’t help but worry how all this drama was affecting Luke.

With the Pitocin kicked up, Jensen _felt_ the difference.

“Jay!”  He dug his fingers into the meat of Jared’s thigh and panted through the contraction.  Burying his face in the crook of Jared’s neck, he tried to hold onto the rhythmic breathing that had gotten him through all the previous contractions.

“Shh, doing good Jensen.”  Jared dropped a kiss to Jensen’s sweaty hairline and held him tight.  “So good.  Almost over.”  He eyed the device monitoring Jensen’s contractions and held his breath until it was over.  “I hate seeing you hurt like this.”

With a grunt, Jensen released the pain induced tension but stayed in Jared’s arms.  “They’re getting worse.”

“I know babe.”

“And this hurts.”

“I know.”

“And I just want him out.”  Jensen huffed and pulled away from Jared to fall against the bed.  He rubbed his middle in an attempt to sooth the tension there.  “Come on baby.  Let’s go, down and out!”  Groaning, he shifted his hips from side to side.  He faded off into pain while Jared told him he loved him.

It was 11 o’clock.

Seventeen contractions later and a lot of grumbling on Jensen’s part, the nurse checked him again.  He had barely cleared 3 centimeters.

With the application of more Cyotec gel and legs left splayed wide in stirrups, Jensen was starting to shake all over again.

The Pitocin made the contractions stronger than normal, crashing into Jensen quicker and knocking the breath out of him.  He felt like his middle was a vice and he wanted to pass out.

But he couldn’t.  He had a job to finish.

Right now he had to prove to his doctors that he could get his cervix to dilate another inch or two in the next few hours or they were going to opt for a c-section.  He didn’t want that.  As much as he wasn’t looking forward to pushing a human out of his body, he didn’t want to have one cut out of him even more.  He knew it was as stupid stigma, but the thought held fast in his brain.

He moaned, chest stuttering as he forgot how to breath during a contraction.

“Come on Jen, breathe with me.”  Jared started to mimic the type of breathing he and Jensen had been practicing.  “It’s okay baby.”

“I…”  Jensen cried out, biting his lip to stifle and further cries, and his hands scrambled to find something to squeeze onto.  “Ohh, shit.”

“You’ve got this Jen."

“No I don’t.”  Jensen shook his head quickly and pitched forward.  “I don’t.”

“Yes you do.”  Jared ran a hand across the laboring man’s lower back.  “You’re doing awesome.”

Jensen still shook his head, his brain trying to out run the contraction.

“He’s a trooper.”  Dr. Coviello entered the room and gave Jensen’s file a quick glance.  “He’s been at this for nine hours and still hasn’t murdered you yet, Jared?  That’s pretty good.”  She laughed at her own joke and went to stand beside Jensen.  “How are you doing?”

Knitting his eyebrows, Jensen gave out a strangled, “I’m okay.”

“Nice try.  You don’t look very ‘okay’.  Let’s try that again.  How are you _really_ doing?”

“Not so good?”  The sentence squeaked out like a question and Jensen gave a pathetic shrug of his shoulders.  “The last one hurt like a mother fucker…”

“Let’s see what is going on with you, shall we?”

A quick exam later and Jensen was trying to arch away from his doctor’s exploring hands.

“You’re at four."

“You’re kidding.”  Jared had been hoping for a higher number because Jensen was visibly struggling and he was worried he wouldn’t be able to hold out much longer.

“I thought you would be further along too, based on how much ‘help’,” she rolled her eyes towards the Pitocin drip, “we are giving you and how much noise you are making over here.”  Jensen flushed with embarrassment but Dr. Coviello put a hand on his knee.  “I didn’t mean it like that Jensen.  It’s totally normal for you to be acting the way you are.  This isn’t the fun part and Pitocin solidifies that fact even more so.”  She smiled softly.  “I know you were hoping for more progress, but going from 3 and a half to 4 is progress, just not a huge amount.  It means your body can do this, it’s just taking its sweet time.”  She gave both men a nod.  “I’ll be back to check on you later.  Try to relax, a hard task, I know.  Hopefully your body can get to 5 centimeters in the next hour or so.”  She left as suddenly as she appeared and Jared was left with a glowering Jensen.

“Jen…”

“Don’t talk to me!”  Jensen whined low in his throat as his belly tightened.  The cramp was strong and unnerving, making him dissolve into a moan.  He sucked in his breath and held onto it, groaning into the pillow.

“Jen, you gotta breathe."

“You fucking breathe.  I’m serious!”  He let out a yelp as the pressure in his middle almost became too much.  “Breathing isn’t doing shit!”  Turning onto his side, he tried to disappear into the bed.  “Oh god, Jared…I can’t…nngh!”

Undeterred by Jensen’s outburst, Jared leaned forward and brushed Jensen’s sweat damp hair away from his face and carded his fingers through it.  “You can.  You’re doing so good.  Seriously, I am in awe of you right now.”

“Yea-yeah?”  Jensen’s words got tangled on an awkward breath and he gave Jared a defeated stare.

“Absolutely.  But you have to try to relax baby.  And breathe.  You don’t wanna stress Luke out.”

At the mention of their son, Jensen’s hand flew to his middle and followed the downward shoot of pain.  “Can you just knock me over the head and cut him out?”

“Is that what you want?”

Coming out of the contraction and thinking more rationally, Jensen shook his head.  “No…but…I don’t really want to do this anymore either.”  He wiped at his forehead with the back of his hand.  “Can I have some water or something?”

“Yeah, here.”  Jared passed Jensen a lidded cup of water with a straw.  “I know you are tired Jensen, and I know I can’t really help, but," he cupped one of Jensen's hands in both of his, "thanks for doing this for us.”

Taking a long gulp of cool water, Jensen sighed.   Regret in making Jared feel like he wasn’t a helpful part of this ordeal sank in.  “You are helping, Jay.  A lot.  You just being here makes me feel grounded.  I’m sorry about being crazy before.  It’s just that…sometimes…these contractions are so intense that I can’t see past them.  I’m sorry.”

Giving a soft smile, Jared leaned forward and placed a lingering kiss to Jensen’s forehead.  “It’s okay.  You can yell at me all you want.  I won’t hold it against you.”

“You don’t have to thank me by the way.  I want this baby as much as you do.  But…If you tell anyone about how noisy I am being right now?  I will kill you.”

“No.  I’d never do that.  You are being the picture of poise and control,” Jared let out with a smirk.

“Good.  Now give me a list of reasons I shouldn’t kill you on the next contraction.”  Jensen gave a weak laugh to let Jared know it was a joke but by the look on Jared’s face, the other man wasn’t so sure.

In the end, a nurse came in and said he could try walking again if he wanted to.

If it meant that he could dilate faster, Jensen was on board.

But, instead of walking, he spent more of the time with his arms looped around Jared’s neck, swaying his hips back and forth to alleviate some of the pressure, as the breathed through several more contractions.  In fact, they never left the room, Jensen pacing nervously before giving Jared subtle clues that a contraction was starting.

Jared helped support Jensen’s weight and shushed soothingly as the man labored against him.  In truth, Jared was trying to hold it together.  Despite what Jensen said earlier, he felt utterly helpless.  He’d never seen Jensen quite like this before, and he’s never been in a situation where he couldn’t play some role in getting the job done.

It was a waiting game pitting them against Jensen’s body and unfortunately, Jensen was bearing all the weight of the situation.

Eventually, they got to 5 centimeters and Jared almost paled when he realized it had taken them a whole day to get halfway through the process.  He’s not sure Jensen could survive another day.  To be honest, he’s not sure _he_ could survive another day.

By nightfall, Dr. Coviello decided to take Jensen off the Pitocin.  He had been on it at the maximum dosage practically all day and they had to give his uterus a rest or else risk hemorrhaging.  Without the Pitocin, Jensen’s contractions eased off but so did the dilating process.

Even though he wanted this whole process over, Jensen needed a break.  He _needed_ to try and get some type of sleep, even if it was in between irregular contractions and spasms.

It was a weird night, and in the quite times when Jensen actually did find sleep, Jared watched him like a hawk.  It’s silly, he knew.  Jensen had proven time and time again how strong and determined he was, but Jared still needed to make sure he was okay.  On the same hand, he was also watching Luke’s vitals, glad that they seemed to have gotten past any issues with their son going into distress.

The night was over all too quickly, and while Jensen was slightly more rested, he picked up moaning and cursing right where he left off when they start the Pitocin again at 8 o’clock in the morning.

Things actually move a little faster.

Jensen, breath knocked out of him and body shaking, caught Jared’s eyes during a contraction and plowed through the pain.  “I’m okay Jared.  It’s okay.”

Jared let out a laugh at Jensen’s attempt to comfort him when Jensen was the one in labor.  He smiled softly and let Jensen clench his fist around his hand, jamming his fingers together uncomfortably.

At 10 o’clock, Jensen hadn’t dilated any further so Dr. Coviello snapped his labor up a notch by breaking his water.  “Keep your legs open sweetie.  This isn’t going to hurt.”

Gasping, Jensen reacted to the alien feeling of his amniotic fluids rupturing and releasing some of the pressure that had been building in his middle.  “What the…”  His words trailed off as Dr. Coviello withdrew the long needle and helped the nursing staff absorb the fluid.

“You had a lot in there, didn’t you?  No wonder you were feeling so much pressure.”

“It feels so weird.”  His belly contracted and there was a little bit of gush against his thighs.  “Oh god…I’m sorry.”  He looked up at Dr. Coviello and winced.

“What are you apologizing for?”  She laughed and went back to examining the amniotic fluid.  “Fluid looks good Jensen.”

“That’s good, right?”  Jensen looked up at Jared as he spoke to his doctor.  He sucked in his lower lip and cursed while a contraction built up.  “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit…”

“It’s very good Jensen.  And now that you’re water has broken, things are going to get even more intense.  But, I think you’ve already realized that.  Keep it up and we will have a baby before the day is done.  Are you still planning on no pain mediation? A natural birth?"

Jensen nodded and Jared gulped.

When she left, Jensen latched onto Jared’s forearm.  “We’re going to have a baby.”

“Yeah, we are.”

“I can do this Jared.”

“Of course you can, Jen.  You’re going to be great.”

“No, I mean…I can do this.  Like, it’s happening.  My body is letting me do this.”  Jensen shifted and cursed, feeling pressure push downward.  He tried to smile, but it was strained under his discomfort and he gritted his teeth.

The determination was nice, but it didn’t last long.

Three hours later, the contractions were right on top of each other, coming less than every four minutes and they were blowing Jensen out of his mind.

Jared was trying to knead the tension out of Jensen’s back as the man rocked forward.  “Are you _sure_ you don’t want to get an epidural?”

“Yes.”  Jensen moaned.  “No.”  He rubbed at the sides of his stomach.  “I don’t know.”  Giving Jared a confused sigh, he collapsed against the bed.  “Maybe.”  A contraction hit him and he groaned as his son kicked with a short, sudden jab.  “The baby doesn’t like the contractions.”  Looking down at his middle, Jensen screwed his face up in discomfort when he felt his child shift.

“Jen, you’re in a lot of pain, and who knows how much longer this is going to go on.  It’s okay if you want an epidural.  You’re exhausted baby.”

“I just want him out.”

“I know.”  Sorry that Jensen was so worn out, Jared made a pitiful noise in the back of his throat.

“Can you…can you maybe ask?”

“Yeah, Jen.  I can ask.”

Seven minutes later, Dr. Coviello herself popped into the room.  “Someone wants pain meds?”

“Yeah, I…”  Jensen cursed and powered through the tail end of a contraction.  “Yes!  I…yeah!”

“Okay. You know the drill, Jensen.  Open up.”  She helped press Jensen’s thighs wider.  “Hmm…”  Dr. Coviello scrunched up her face in contemplation and moved her gloved fingers in an exploratory search for the baby.  “Baby’s posterior, it’s why he didn’t feel like coming down to meet you.  Don’t worry, he’ll spin, but we gotta help him out a bit.”

“Posterior?  He…what?”  Jensen panicked and clenched up around Dr. Coviello who worked at keeping his legs open.

“The baby’s spine is facing your spine.  It makes it difficult to get him out that way.”

Jared perked up.  “What does that mean for Jensen?”

“It means two things.  First of all, sorry Jensen.  You’re almost at seven centimeters, so no epidural for you sweetie.”  Jensen snorted in response before the doctor continued.  “And two, it means that we gotta try to get this baby to turn if you want a chance at trying to push him out.  We are going to get you to labor for a little while on your left side.  The contractions and position might get him to spin enough.”

“Right, so more waiting.”  Jensen sucked in his lips, his face contorting with a multitude of emotions.  “More waiting…”  He nodded his head too quickly for it to look natural and blinked at Jared.

“Jensen, don’t freak out.”  Jared moved aside so the doctor could help shift Jensen onto his left.

“No..I’m good.  I’m not freaking out.”  Jensen shook his head.  His chest rose and fell quicker as he tried to figure out what Dr. Coviello was telling him.

“Jen.”  Jared’s utterance came with a knowing tone behind it.

“Oh god, I’m freaking out, aren’t I?”

Jared lifted up his hand and pinched a tiny space of air between his thumb and pointer finger.  “A little bit.”  Making sure Jensen was as comfortable as he could get, he resumed his position beside the man.  “It’s okay Jensen.”  He placed a palm over Jensen’s middle.

“What if it’s not?  What if he’s not okay?  If he doesn’t turn?”  Jensen looked up at Jared and joined their hands together on his stomach.

“No one has said anything for you to think that he isn’t okay.  He’s doing good.  And if he doesn’t turn, then they’ll do everything they can to deliver him safely."

“I just want him to be okay.”  The fear flashed into Jensen’s eyes.

“He’s going to be.  Okay?  And he is going to grow up perfect.  You are going to teach him how to play sports and I am going to teach him how to fish and I hope he looks just like you.”  Jared’s eyes softened at the thought.

Jensen sighed and pressed his face into the pillow.  His voice was muffled but Jared was able to make out the words.  “I want him to look like his incredible dad.”  He groaned out the last part of the sentence and picked up on a weird irregular breathing pattern.  His skin broke out in goose bumps as the unsettling feeling of his baby rolling came to the surface.  Looking at Jared, he tried to smile but it came off as an awkward grimace.  “You’re lucky I love you.”

“Love you too Jen.”

When Jensen cursed again and writhed on the bed, Jared was right there to support him.  Jared was right there, just as he had been for the entire process and Jensen couldn’t help but realize that _he_ was probably the lucky one.

The waiting game dragged on, and on, _and on_ until Jensen's resolve broke and he felt tears of surrender coming to his eyes.

“I CAN’T do this!”  Jensen screamed inches from Jared’s face and fisted the collar of his shirt, drawing Jared even closer.

“Jen…”

“Jared, I swear!  You have no idea how much this hurts.  None.  I’m going to fucking kill you.”  He groaned and pressed all of his weight back into the mattress in an attempt to counteract the tension in his body.  “This kid is not coming out _there_.”

Scratching the back of his head, Jared scrambled for a reply.  Thankfully, Dr. Coviello had one for him.

“Jensen, I need you to relax.  I know it is hard and it hurts, but I need you to try to calm down.”

Ignoring the doctor, Jensen screamed again.  “This kid is huge!  And…oh god…he is splitting me in two.  This is your fucking fault!”  He squeezed his eyes shut before popping them open in surprise.  “Fuck….I….shit!”

“Jen, baby, it’s okay.”

Jensen smacked away Jared’s hands, thwarting their attempt to calm him down.  “Not okay!  Fuck, fuck, fuck!  I gotta push!”

The revelation floored Jared, and even through they’ve been aiming for this goal for 38 hours, now that they’ve gotten there, he couldn’t do more than blink.

“Easy, Jensen.”  Dr. Coviello put a hand on Jensen’s knee.  “I need you to calm down so I can check you.”  She swung Jensen’s legs into the stirrups and locked eyes with the man.  “Relax Jensen.”

“You relax!”  Jensen snarled at her before going back to attacking Jared.  “This is your fault.  You had to fuck me when you knew I was out of birth control.”

Frustrated, even though he felt no right to be, Jared gave an exasperated huff.  He knew Jensen wasn’t in his right mind, but there was only so much he could take.  “Jen…we were both out of birth control.  We were both taking turns trying.  Don’t act like this wasn’t your idea too.”

“It’s still your fault!”  A contraction tore through him and he cursed.  “Oh god!  Jared!”

Putting the dispute aside instantly, Jared helped brace Jensen as he pitched forward.  It was an awkward move with his feet secured in the stirrups and he moaned the whole way.  “I’m right here baby.  You’re okay.  Breathe through it.”

“Jared!”  Jensen buried his face in Jared’s shirt.  “I don’t want to have a baby anymore, can you…I…”  His words fell away in a jumbled mess.

“It’s okay baby.  I’m going to help you.  You’re almost done.”

Jensen sobbed through the pain and looked Jared dead in the eyes.  “I can’t do it Jared.  I can’t deliver this baby.”

“Well, you’re about to.”  Dr. Coviello gave a quick exam to Jensen’s dilated opening.  “The baby turned enough and you’re completely effaced, 10 centimeters.  It’s push time."

“Wha?  Really?”  Jensen let out a pant.

“Yeah, you’re good to go!  You two ready to be dads?”  She smiled at their shell-shocked faces as she broke down the base of the bed.  “Jared, you want to help hold back one of Jensen’s legs?”

“Yeah, I…Jen, that’s still okay, right?”  Jared shared a nervous glance between Jensen and the doctor.

“Yeah, I…I want you to see him being born.”  He vaguely watched nurses he didn’t recognize scurrying around, the room a sudden flurry of activity.  The pain he had been dealing with transformed into this uncontrollable urge to push and he couldn’t think about anything other than giving into the fact.  “Oh god! I need to push! I need to push now!”

“Go ahead sweetie.  It won’t hurt your baby.”  Dr. Coviello had most of the equipment in order and was rearranging Jensen’s right leg in a stirrup, keeping it up and spread wider.  “He’s ready.  All you need to do is push him out.  Come on Jensen, concentrate on pushing this baby lower.”

“Jared!”  Jensen leaned forward with the effort and bore down.  He curled his body and brought his chin to his chest.

“Keep going Jensen.  Try to keep your back straight, it will help with spinny posterior babies.”  When Jensen immediately followed his directions, lengthening his spin and keeping his head high, she let out a little cheer.  “Perfect.  That’s great.  Hold the push.  Hold it. Hold it!”  After guiding the straining man through the push, she smiled reassuringly.  “Good first push!”

“Fuck!”  Jensen fell out of the effort and collapsed.  “Jay?”

“He is right here Jensen.  He is going to help hold your left leg during pushes, okay?”  The doctor angled Jensen’s left leg up and out of the way and helped Jared get a better grasp on it.  When she was done she lowered Jensen’s bed and angled the back rest so he could lean forward.  “We gotta keep your back straight.”

“I’m right here Jensen.  You’re doing great.”  Jared felt Jensen clamp down on his wrist with his left hand.

“Okay Jensen, on the next contraction I am going to count to three and I want a big push.”  She took a seat on a stool at the foot of the bed.  Jensen tensed up and reflexively tried to close his legs.  “Legs open Jensen.  Come on, let them fall open.”  She helped Jared keep Jensen’s legs wide.  When she noticed a contraction building on the readout beside her, she locked eyes with her patient.  “Ready? 1..2..3!”  Dr. Coviello pushed Jensen’s right leg up while Jared did the same with the left.

Jensen’s face went red as he squished it up and pushed.  “Holy shi-…”  He choked on a breath of air.  The pushing hurt but it came with an odd sense of relief that he could do more than wait.  Working with contractions and urges felt right, and he gave it his all.  The pressure increased as his baby descended, making his legs shake from his efforts.

“Good job.  Push all the way down to your bottom.”

“I’m trying!” Jensen grabbed the back of his thighs and bore down again. He tried to look between his legs but his vision was met with his own distended flesh.

“Okay, ease off Jensen.  Take a break,” Dr. Coviello replied when the contraction ended.

“I don’t wanna take a break.  I want him out!”  Jensen groaned and squeezed down on Jared’s wrist.

“I know, he’s getting there.  But he’s big.  I don’t want you to tear if I can help it,” the doctor confessed.  “Alright, let’s go Jensen, it’s push time again.”  She observed Jensen’s opening as the man gave bearing down another go.  “Harder, Jensen.  Good.  Keep going!  Push, push, push, push!  Great job!”

Jared watched in awe as Jensen pushed for over an hour, sweat beading on his brow and muscles shaking from the strain.  He could barely believe Jensen still had the power to keep going.  Still, at his place beside Jensen’s leg, Jared couldn’t stop himself by being slightly transfixed by what was going on between the man’s legs.  Part of him went weak in the stomach, but eventually when he caught sight of the small sliver Jensen was trying to expose,  he was able to focus on the fact that _that_ was his son.

“Jensen, I can almost see his head.  You’re doing good.” Jared smiled at the man with complete adoration.

Jensen took a deep loud breath and panted for a moment.  “Really?  You…really?”  He acknowledged Jared’s nod and panted though a response.  “What color hair does he have?”

“It looks dark but it is hard to tell.  Come on babe, push him out so we can see.”

Jensen let out a strangled agonized vocalization as he followed the instincts crashing into him and pushed long and hard. “Oh…it hurts!”

Dr. Coviello wiped the birthing area and looked up at Jensen from between his legs. “Great push! You brought the head right there! Now we just need to push it out.”

Before being instructed to do so, Jensen felt a wave radiate through his body.  He bore down with a yell, his legs shaking from the strains of his labor. “Jared, is he coming?”

“Yeah, Jen, he’s coming.”

“You're crowning Jensen, but your baby needs your help to get out.  Nice big deep pushes. He has a big head, so let’s help him out.”

“Big head…”  Jensen stretched his legs open wider and willed his body to let his baby come, urging him on with another push, “is that supposed to help?”  Jensen groaned as he felt his child about to push free.  “Oh god! Get him out! I want him out!”

“Almost there.  Just a few more strong pushes like that and he will be in your arms.” Dr. Coviello helped stretch Jensen slightly to ease the infant into the world.  Looking worried, she put up a palm towards Jensen.  “Jensen, hold off on that push for a minute to lessen the stretch.”

Jensen’s brain heard her instructions but his body didn’t care.  There was no way he could hold off the urge to push which was taking over every muscle in his power.  He let out a feral yell and pushed, refusing to stop despite his doctor warning him not to keep going.  A red hot burn made a sudden presence and Jensen couldn’t hold in his surprised scream.  He kept making pained, choking sounds as he pushed his chin to his chest and bore down.  Taking one more quick breath and pushed down harder than ever before.  There was a lot of pain, riding a wave of shock, as he felt his son’s head being expelled from his body.  “Oh, fuck!  Burns!  Holy…”

“You tore Jensen.”  Dr. Coviello grimaced.  “Nurse, can you give me something to staunch the blood?”

Paling, Jared did a double take at his son’s face.  Jensen’s fresh blood leaked out of his new wound and trickled around the baby’s neck, making the awe inspiring moment mix with complete concern.  “The blood, is that…is he okay?”

“Sometimes it happens, Jared.  We’ll stitch him up, he’ll be fine.  The baby’s head was too much for him.”  With skilled hands, the doctor helped ease the flow of blood and suctioned the baby’s airways.

“Oh fuck, hurts.”  Jensen started hyperventilating, eyes panicked and begging for reassurance.  “He’s okay?  I didn’t hurt him?”

“You did an excellent job!” Dr. Coviello cleaned the area.  “Give me your hand Jensen.”  Jensen did as he was instructed and Dr. Coviello  helped the man feel his child coming into the world.  “He is almost here. Pant for a minute while I get him into position for the shoulders to be born.  Don’t push, I don’t want you to tear even worse.”

Jensen panted and looked up at Jared in exhaustion.  “Jared, I just want him out.”  The statement trailed off into a plead for relief.

“I know love.  He is almost here, and you are doing so good.  I know you can do it.”

“Gotta push!”

“Hold it Jen.  Come on baby, you can do it.”  While Jared was talking, he noticed Jensen squish his face up and bear down.  “Dr. Coviello, he is pushing!”

‘Tsking,’ the doctor finished her ministrations and nodded at Jensen.  “It’s okay, push if you need to.  Let him come.  Just work with your body, okay?  You feel him moving lower?”

“Yeah, I…Fuck!”  Jensen squeezed his eyes shut and bit his lip.

“Then give a big strong push and you’re done.”

Jensen pushed but stopped abruptly. “I can’t!”  The burning where he tore increased as he pushed and he didn’t know how he would be able to give into his urges to work with the pressure building and push his son out while not tearing worse.  “Tearing…”

Frowning, Dr. Coviello tried to support the straining skin better.  “A bit, but we can’t do anything about that now.  You’ve got to push through it.  Come on Jensen, you can do it.”

“It’s too much.”  He grunted and backed off from a thorough push, lodging his child’s shoulders on the verge of coming into the world.  “Get him out!”

Words soft and comforting, Dr. Coviello locked eyes with her patient.  “Jensen honey, I can’t.  You have to help me.  This is what you wanted, remember? You wanted to give birth to your baby instead of a c-section.  I know you can do it.  So let’s get him out of there. Okay?”

“You’ve got this Jensen, come on, push one more time and you never have to do this again.  Just one more and he is here.” Jensen grabbed onto Jared’s hand, squeezing and shouting as he bore down.  Jared didn’t know who to watch: his son coming into the world inch by inch or Jensen working with blind determination.

“Aghhh!”  Jensen pushed hard, his feet straining against the stirrups as he got past the sticky shoulder situation and expelled both of his son’s arms in sequence before the rest of the baby followed in a slippery rush.  He fell back on the bed with a blissful feeling of emptiness, the pain becoming a dull throb in the back of his memory.  All of his other senses were reaching out in every direction, instinctively searching for what he just created.  As soon as he regained his composure he saw his child being flipped onto his stomach, his little lungs wailing, his eyes screwed shut.

“Oh god!” Jensen brought his hand to his mouth. “I did that.” Reaching towards the bloody baby as a nurse cleaned him off, he stroked his small flailing arm and choked on a sob.

“Yes you did.  You did great.”  Jared kissed Jensen on the sweaty temple.  “That’s our little Luke, Jen.”

Dr. Coviello breathed out a sigh of relief.  “Little?  He’s a _big_ boy.  But I think he is as happy to be out here as you are to have him here.”  She laughed and clamped the baby’s cord.  “Want to cut his cord Jared?”

“Yeah! I…how?”  Hands shaking a bit, Jared took the offered scissors.

“Cut, right here.  Perfect.  Want to bring him to Jensen?”

Jensen was crying and Jared wanted nothing more than to get his son wrapped up and snuggled into Jensen’s arms.  After all, the man deserved to hold onto Luke for as long as he wanted after the ordeal he just went through.  “Yeah, come here big guy, do you want to meet your papa?”  He helped wrap the baby in a soft receiving blanket and held his son for the first time.

“Oh Jay…You…and him…”  Jensen’s breath hitched as he watched Luke and Jared interact for the first time outside of the womb.  Sure, Jared had felt kicks, but they had never bonded quite like this.  Seeing Jared fall in love with his son was almost amazing enough to overpower his desire to get a hold on his son himself.

“He’s so handsome, Jen.  He’s perfect.”  Jared kissed the baby’s forehead as he continued to cry.  “It’s okay baby.  We are never going to let anything happen to you, _ever_.”  Giving a shaky smile on the verge of being overcome with emotion, Jared transferred the baby into Jensen’s arms.  “Say hello, Luke.”

Jensen took a deep breath and cradled the baby against his chest.  It was awkward at first, him not being certain how to hold the newborn, but the moment Luke let out a wet baby coo, something in Jensen kicked in and he held onto him with a giant smile plastered on his face.  He still hurt, but everything faded out except Luke.  “Hi baby.  I’m your papa.  And you sure gave me a run for my money.  But I am sure it wasn’t much fun for you either, huh?”  His smile widened and he kissed Luke’s temple.  “God, I love you so, so, so much.  Daddy is right, you are perfect.  And you look just like him, don’t you?  Do you look like daddy?”  He shifted to get a better hold on Luke but immediately regretted it and winced.

“Easy, Jensen.  You’re still bleeding from the tear but I can’t stitch you up until you pass the afterbirth.”  Dr. Coviello pressed a palm down to Jensen’s swollen middle and quirked her lips to the side.  “You could try feeding him, it might speed things up.”

“Ohh…I….I wasn’t going to…um,”  Jensen struggled to find words.

“It’s not too hard.  Want to try?”  The nurse who toweled Luke off took a step closer.

“I…umm…okay.”

In a minute, Jensen had his hospital gown practically removed and Luke cradled against his chest.  The nurse helped Jensen get a good hold on the baby, and they had a few false starts before Luke latched on and suckled clumsily.  “Ohh!  He’s…he…he’s…”  Jensen didn’t finish his thought, he just held Luke closer and gave Jared a smile.  When Jared reached out a hand to wipe away one of Jensen’s happy tears with his thumb, Jensen leaned into the gesture.  “Jay…Jay…I…I love you.  I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”  Jared smiled and watched Luke get a better hang of eating and suckle more enthusiastically.  “You did so great Jensen.  You have no idea how proud I am of you.  You were amazing.”

“I had a pretty amazing coach.”  Jensen smiled and kissed Jared’s palm.  “And we have this pretty amazing kid.”

“Yeah, he probably gets that from you.”  Jared leaned forward and pressed a lingering kiss to Jensen’s lips.

And even thought Jensen had more discomfort ahead of him, he smiled into the kiss.  “Nah, he gets that from both of us.”


End file.
